What happened next……

A long time since I last posted; a lot happening along with very apparently little….. first, the little:
Chickens: we lost another chicken to a night critter- didn’t put em up soon enough that night. We’re still getting eggs from the red hens; about 4/wk… surprising in this time of little light…. We didn’t expect regular eggs again till spring or so. The remaining white hen, Stripes, molted this year; looked like a frail old chicken for a minute, but’s now back in full henny feather.
Winter Garden: I planted in back, against my better planning, thinking I’d just put the fencing back around the plots….. well, it wasn’t nearly high enough, and the chickens had a Great Feast. We didn’t. In fact, if we were solely food-dependent on our winter harvest and what we stored from fall & summer, we’d be living on a few dried tomatoes, figs, grapes, and three giant zucchini; eggs, once in while; preserved lemons; wild salads, mostly sour grass; a few wild-seed crackers, including naturalized wheat and millet (about 2 cups worth); herbs & herbal teas, of course; about 10 lbs of potatoes; nasturtium capers; uncured olives, 34 of them packed in curing salt; and a few gallons of harvested rainwater.
I console my harvest-seeking self with the realization that this is MUCH better than last year, and next year is sure to be even more….. and my “told you so” self with one does what one can, and keeps on walking the walk, no matter.
Infrastructure: still slowly tooling along, but have moved back to the Front House for main living… front house with electricity, running water…. heat…. and moved almost all Stuff from the Middle, realizing that it’ll be MUCH more efficient to lay flooring and insulation with Stuff out of the way….. we’ve dug the deep trench and installed the conduit for electric to the Middle House, too, and started painting the Front and almost finished the front gracious stairs & porch….. one does what one can.
Then the lot…. Much social and inward change; composting old sour emotional shit, family relationships, old habitual un-needful behaviors; talk about Stop Shopping! (http://www.revbilly.com/…. Check out the music while you shop the site) I’ve begun to stop shopping in the aisles of discontent, going-nowhere-I-want-to-be-relationship; what a deep breath that is…
And what a hard road to travel; at least it’s clearly lit- the road signs say yes, keep going yr own way, focus on the vision, keep on keeping on, no matter what other’s want or expect that’s off the road- they’ve dropped off, gone their own ways without me; as Dr Seuss said, “those who mind don’t matter; those who matter don’t mind”…. So here’re me & QR, snuggled down in deep blankets, walking the walk with a whole lot of sweaters & coats on whenever we HAVE to get up. $…. After gaining, from family & friends & work, thousands of dollars, and then losing thousands to old debt and generosity and perfidy, I’ve decided to work full time. I’ll make a lot more $; I plan to pay for the work to be done, pay others who need the $ and want, and can, and WILL do the work we need. This has been a tough nut to compost…. I love sharing resources and visioning and what I think is building a future and an immediate Life…. What’s happened is, I appear to have cast my pearls before swine, and the swine have choked on em & spit em back in my face… So. I often struggle in relationship the ways I’ve often struggled in the rest of life: unsure what’s real, accepting what’s clearly not… going with someone else’s flow, at the strugglous expense of my own. Clearly not efficient or healthy or happy when I’ve so much I want to share, and so much to do…. and clearly an old habit, diverting from my own path in favor of someone else’s problems, part of the tough process of digging deep and letting the old relationships and unhappy habits go their own way without me; for the moment I’ve got my eyes on my own River, sailing along.