We've probably all heard about, and are appalled by, the latest infant death from heatstroke after being left in a car. Interestingly- but maybe not surprisingly- I'm not able to find the information online, published in last week's SF Chronicle, I found most important. First of all, there are about 3 dozen of these deaths each year in the US alone. That would be THIRTY SIX infant-left-in-car-deaths each year; three deaths each month; almost one each week.
What's up with this?!? The Chronicle posited an answer: "brain researchers" ( my quotes) have found that the human brain can, and does, go on automatic pilot. The brain does NOT make any distinctions regarding the importance of what's forgotten- it could be the coffee cup on top of the car; the ice cream melting in the trunk; the baby in the back seat. It doesn't matter- the brain makes no value distinction when on auto-pilot. In fact, the perceived importance of the baby actually makes it easier to forget: we tell ourselves we'd never forget the baby, for god's sake. Thirty six grief-struck parents per year tell us a different story, one I think we need to pay close attention to. Not only so we don't forget our babies or the ice cream- we need to pay attention to this because auto-pilot is a potentially dangerous hypnosis, and we're all vulnerable. What else do we "forget"? What happens to our critical thinking abilities when we're on auto-pilot- accepting the "news" as Truth, buying tainted food & polluting chemical cleaning products, using pertrol-based energy, distractedly listening to political leaders, accepting official counts of US soldier deaths in Iraq as the only ones we need to hear about, choosing the lesser of the evils? How many times have we told ourselves "they'd never let that happen...." probably as many times as we've reasssured ourselves "I'd never do that, allow that, put up with that...." and we do, all of us, over & over again.
As Jim Hogshire (see Poppy Post) reminds us, when we're raised to believe something cannot exist, we don't recognize it, even when it's before our very eyes. Well. Waking Up is obviously very hard. Compassion for ourselves & others is crucial to the process. I think we can do it- recognizing and challenging unspoken assumptions, remembering and evaluating from one day to the next the changing stories political leaders tell us, asking the hardest questions- especially of ourselves- and really hearing the hardest answers, learning to see what's before our very eyes - hey, the coffee smells GOOD!
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Something else comes to mind about how the brain might work: lurking in my "shadow" material, a desire to forget something. So, in a culture where it's difficult for a stressed-out or exhausted mom to find much compassion or sympathy, she says (to herself and others) "I would never forget my baby" while the shadow says "I wish I didn't have to take care of this kid today"... Maybe sometimes the shadow desire prevails and the baby gets left in the car and forgotten.
I don't mean this as an excuse--it's a horrible, terrible, nightmarish event when the human family loses a little one (or anyone) as a result of neglect. This is just one possible scenario that could result in the death of an innocent.
And I really wish it was easier for those in need to find those who can help...
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